So I haven’t updated this jawn in a minute..I’ve been busy with the wonderful thing called life but I realize i’ve been nice for waaaay too long.  The bitch is back!

What kinda fuckery is this?!.. Look forward to 793439483th songs about this bullshit and 934304304 ^16 more remixes..I quit this bitch.

Police said a hard-working Philadelphia couple, who are coping with the recent loss of their only son overseas, were the latest victims in an alleged rooftop robbery spree.

Authorities arrested twin 25-year-old brothers Taleon and Keyontyli Goffney in connection with the theft of $2,000 from an ATM in the Moon’s Beauty Shop (LMAO!!) at 9th and Washington Streets Tuesday.

Ki and Jae Moon were devastated when they discovered a hole punched in the ceiling of their South Philadelphia business and thousands of dollars missing from their in-store ATM.

Police said the twin suspects broke into the store by crashing through the roof.(I guess they got tired of using the back door *rimshot*)

Authorities said the pair is suspected in as many as 50 similar burglaries in the tri-state area.

Damn, who knew a can of Murray’s hair grease was so hard to come by. I almost choked on my last swedish fish cause them fools look like my ex-boyfriend and they’re from my area. Anywho, here’s some of their “work” (NSFW) because I know the ladies (and some gents) wanna see this fuckery. And here’s Keyontyli’s Myspace page. Don’t even send that friend request as i’m almost certain these two are being traded for a pack of shrimp flavored of Ramen Noodles as I type.

No, you eyes doth not deceive you, it’s the tangy one they call Ne-Yo in all his mugshot glory. He was arrested for reckless driving and having a valid DL in Cobb County, Georgia. [yoinked]

I’m getting word that the Klingon community ain’t none too happy about this:

And there you have it. Damn, good luck with that Ne-Yo. It’s gone take more than a sweet serenade and a shiny suit to keep them fools away. They got that technolo-jay!

Movin on..Looks like the Klingon’s need to make another stop on the way to pick up our pistachio headed friend. Eva “The Diva” Pigford of ANTM fame(?) rockin some jafaican locks. Our 2nd case today of “When Bad Hair Happens to Pretty People. If you’re gonna commit to a hairstyle like that at least cover up the silky straight #4 weave in the front. Tyra–Come.Get.Your.Girl. I could scrub my pots with them thangs…

In case you’re wondering; Yes that’s Lil Kim. Kim, when the anesthesia wears off do you think you could make some new music? Thankssssss!!!
And apparently, the Saw Puppet is not flattered and plain ole sick of playin games wit yo’ ass.

Old Mama at some event tryna be all foo foo la for the cameras. Well..umm…She has pretty eyes *shrugs*..

Last but not least i’ll end this post on a non-hatin tip with Lauren London aka “New New” at some event lookin fab..

There, I think I got all the hate out today..check back tomorrow for the video of Ne-Yo gettin stole on  by his Klingon brethren.

Follow the drip…follow the drip…

Now why in the hell would you do that to your head?! You know Jada’s ass had a hand in this mess..talm’bout: “Baby, just let me grease your scalp with these fine Carol’s Daughter products..” Not right!

I’m so hurt right now. I’ve dug deep into my hardrive for some re-assurance of his former hotness and this is what I came up with:

And just like that, all is forgiven…..

Strange he may be, but looking at these pictures makes me wanna slap on a headwrap, light some exotic herbs, and pack my bags for the mothership. I’d have a village of children named after each planet in the solar system for his ass! Yes Dre, you are the prototype.

Throwback for you..yo’ mama and yo’ cuz’n too (Elevators)

Me.

I know I neglected this blog like a teenage father abandons his responsibilities but I just haven’t had the desire to post. Excuuuuuuse me for having a life!..you didn’t want one with me! (*Dead President’s reference*) Anywho i’ll try to keep this piece piece updated as much as possible.

Moving on, I know I clowned Trey “Skinny Bonez” Songz in the past about his facial expressions and physique (or lackthereof) but this song is the hotness. And after watching this video idk..Trey Songz might could get it after a few Popeyes Chicken family value meals and Ensure beverages. We just gotta make sure the sheets are non-flammable cause you know a chick is just as skinny…

Trey Songz- Last Time (watch for the bootycake slip at 1:22)

We’ve come a long way from last years honorees but 2007 has proved to be just as annoying. Lets get this thing started shall we”

10/Shitney Spears

Bitch is terrible and she only got more annoying by the month. She shaved her crazy head bald, attacked some paparazzi, checked into rehab, flashed us her mom tunnel, lost her kids(sad really), had the worst performance EVER, ran some lights, hit cars and a few people. Yet and still she remains alive with the help of a steady stream of frappachino and cheeto snacks. Not to be outdone her little sister gets pregnant and they’re reporting on this shit like it’s WW III. Ummm Matt Lauer, I’m just tryna find out if it’s gonna be clear or cloudy ya dig? Shut that shit up. I think I speak for everyone when I say HOE SIT DOWN.

9/Racists

Yea you Don Imus. Fuck you.

8/Ray J & Kim KardASShian

Brandy’s little brother smashed this big booty heffa and made some money off it. Corny nigga hustle indeed. Ms. Norwood come get your brother. Ooops, I forgot; you can’t.

I’m sure Kim was in on it too. After it was all said and done Kim got a show to make us see she wasn’t the only whore. Apparently the skankardry runs in the family. Did you see how her mom pimped her ass out to Playboy? Kim had the nerve to not to want to show her titties after she just showed her fallopian tubes to the masses. Mama wasn’t having that shit:“Show them titties girl! This family gots to eat!”

7/I Hate New York

I only watched Season 1 of I Hate New York and I could not stands to watch another season of those STD festivities. My coochie itched from just watching. Not to mention half of them fools look gayer than the word gay itself. I heard shim ended up with that soft dude that spits; Tailor Made. Jesus be a gender re-assignment surgeon.

6/The View Hags

Don’t you just love that side eye action Ms. Celie is giving in this pic? You’d think Mister was on the other side of the camera. Fierce! This year we went from saggy Star Jones to Rosie O’Fatty to Whoopi Ms. Celie to Sherri “Ignorantbiblethumper“ Shephard. I admit I watch it in between a Maury episode or two but it’s only interesting when these hags are arguing but even then it’s still annoying. They should just change the name to “Old Ass Hags and Big Titty Heffas Arguing About Shit Nobody Cares About But Old Ass Hags and Donald Trump” Yea that sounds much better.

5/Maury Hoes

Maury Povich made the list back in 2005 but I may have to take it back. It’s these trifling heffas on his show that annoy the hell out of me. Excuse me but how are these women getting men to have sex wit them? RAW!—-Several of them! WHY???? I assume purple hair weaves and lack of knowledge of the English language is an aphrodisiac to snaggle-toothed negroes and mullet donning trailer park inhabitants. Since when is a manhunt for your baby’s father ever cool? Since when is the baby’s inward pinky toe curl grounds for proving paternity? Since when is having two different baby fathers for fraternal twins groundbreaking science? I have a name for that science and it’s call Hoeology. The cure? Simple. It involves condoms, education, and a dose of self fucking respect. Get your annoying ass off Maury’s carpet!

4/Celebrity Brats

Halle, Angelina, Madonna, Katie Holmes, Shitney Spears, Jessica Alba, Jennifer Lopez, Nancy Grace The Devil, Scary Spice, Nicole Ritchie, Christina Auguilera blah blah blah got knocked up. With every click of my remote I get a report that some celebrity is adopting or is pregnant with the spawn of opulence. Congratulations and all that foo foo la but I really don’t care unless it’s my very own crumbsnatcher. They’re annoyingly spoiled before they even break that yummy bag of vagina waters. With that said, they could have this blog shut down with the suck of a finger and i’m truly sorry (that they’ll be alcoholics by the time they hit puberty).

3/Sal Masekela

Yes, the guy from E! Random.I know, but where in the nappy dread hell did this dude come from? I just turned on my t.v one day and there he was. He just popped up like a case a herpes–but with less vigor. The hair. That voice. Corny black man alert indeed. Can I get a voice intonation? An eyebrow raise? Nigga do you have a pulse? I’m just sayin. You know AJ from 106 & Park is waiting in a dark alley ready to style on this fool.

2/Keyshia Cole and ‘nem

Typing her name just makes me wanna beat a bitch down with a pair of hot curling irons. The level of hoodrattery the Coles family displays is no surprise. Mama is a crack head, Neffie is pregnant for the 93749374th time, lil cousin has a verse on the track, paternity tests, kitchen ass weaves, more children than adults, and plum colored lip liner. Sounds like a wonderful day in the pro-jects. Would you be mine? Could ya be mine? Seriously, I actually grew to like Keyshia after getting sucked in to watching a few episodes and I think she could be a better artist if she’d stopped letting 10 year olds write her songs. That “Sad and lonely” song is repetitive as hell and i’m tired of hearing my 2 year old cousin sing it better than her damn ABC’s. Beyond that she could drop that poodle curl and send her family to some remote foreign strange island in the middle of the nowhere and somewhere. I’m just sayin…

I quit this bitch for tonight. Stay tuned for the #1 Most Annoying of 2007

UGK feat. Outkast- International Players Anthem

Even though Will beat me to it…

John Legend- Show Me

Us Placers- Kanye, Lupe, & Pharrell