Dontcha’ know know GOooOOoOOOD!!!!!

April 26, 2006

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*shakes head* I don’t think she do yall. Didn’t I already say “Black Women, We GOT to do better”??? I see i’m gonna have to resort to idle threats and intimidation to make my motherfuckin’ point…

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Scoot over Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau, talk about The Odd Couple!

Goodnight Present: Musiq Soulchild forgets the words to the National Anthem

Click the pic to see video


The Good, Bad, and Really Funny

April 25, 2006

I’m in a good mood today eve after all the fukkery I had to endure earlier so lets start with The Good. Shall We??:


1) Amel Larrieux

I’ve loved her music since Groove Theory. She’s a stunningly beautiful woman with the voice of an angel. Her mammary glands and buttcheeks aren’t swinging every whichaway to sell records, and most importantly her music has meaning, something that’s almost rare in the lollipop gum drop shit we have shoved down our throats on the regular. I sat in on her listening party on VH1 Soul this weekend, for her new album “Morning”(dropped today) and it is definitley hot. Unless you’re a purveyor or real music you probably wouldn’t understand, so go on and continue to bump that Ugly Ricky youngin’… Everybody else you know what it is, be sure to support homegirl..She deserves it!!!2) Nas

Need I say more??? Besides the obvious fact that i’m probably one of his biggest stan–err fans and I own damn near his entire discography, I’m still a female–which puts me at an advantage you see: I can be in love with him all I want! without worrying whether I appear “homo” to my “boyz”. But other than that he’s Top 5 on my G.O.A.T list..As he should be at least in the Top 10 on everyone elses.

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3) Bobby Christina
Looks like the Golden Baby just can’t get enough of the limelight since the show. Now, I don’t like to pick on chirrens but it’s gotta be said..Where the hell did Whitney contribute to any of this crumbsnatchers phenotype????–Where? I see nothing Whitney about her. Bobby’s sperm musta been high off something that night, cause they damn sure backslapped the hell outta Whit’s oophytes..This is one time I can say truley say “I feel sowwy for chu mudda” and mean it. Let’s pray for her momma yall. It’s gone be alright chile…

4) Hoopz has lesbian threesome with T.I.???

Don’t know if this is true or not, but i’ve seen it on a few blogs so what the hell..

The woman, who has asked to remain anonymous, is a dancer in a number of popular hip-hop music videos. She claims to have met up with the rapper and Hoopz last week at an Atlanta nightclub. According to the woman, Hoopz, who has been reportedly dating T.I., immediately struck up a conversation with her. She explained, "I felt like Hoopz was trying to pick me up, but I wanted T.I. - so I was cool with it."When it was time to leave the club, T.I. suggested that the two women join him at his suburban mansion for an "after party." On the way there, things began to heat up when all three began kissing and groping each other. And according to the woman, "as soon as we walked in the door, I took off T.I.'s clothes and [performed oral sex on him]." "Hoopz wasn't expecting all of that & she was shy at first" explained the woman, "but after a few minutes she got into it too."

The three went on to have a marathon sex session which lasted for more than two hours. Describing the encounter the woman recalled, "T.I. was great, I really enjoyed being with him ... but it seemed like Hoopz was more into me than him." [Read the rest]

Hmmm..Don’t know if I believe it, but then again Hoopz does seem to be carpet muncher status. And they’ve been getting cozy for the last few weeks. I feel sorry for Tiny though (don’t laugh..I really do)..He’s straight playin’ her with 15 minute chicks all out in the open. *ahem* With that said: T.I’s little anorexic ass could get handled once, twice, thrice! I got all the time in the world babay!! For some odd reason I like short skinny dudes (trust me, BIG things come in small packages) But moving away from my twisted hopes and fukkery, this whole situation just leaves one question: WWF(Foofy)S???

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The Really Funny

5) You ARE an ASShole!

Besides being annoying and leatherfaced. Maury Povich aka Capt’n Save-a-hoe extraordinaire is being sued for [corny ass anchor] get this [/voice]: SEXUAL HARRASSMENT! [source] hahahahaha. I’m lovin’ it! Even if it’s not true, it’s still hilariously ironic. I just knew there was a sexual deviant behind all that false sincerity and empathy for smuts with 10 different baby faddas.

Next episode: Who is Marisol’s 11th baby daddy? Maury OR Connie?!

Followed by last weeks episode: Is Connie Chung Man or Woman?!!

*Maury cabbage patches with black audience member*
*commercial breaks to Valtrex commercial starring Micheal Vick*

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6) Lil Romeo ethers Lil Bow Wow:

[Pam] Now that’s funny! [/Martin] What’s next? Lil Romeo get’s capped up on the set of Sesame Street? This can’t be life!

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*Shakes fist*

April 25, 2006

I’m having such a shitty day today. And it all started with socks..(imagine that..) socks..I had a whole post ready for yall yesterday, hit “Publish Post” and Blogger outright said ‘fuck it’ and died on me. Good thing I saved. When I get home i’ll post it bitches 🙂 Until then, click the fine blogs over to left of you..

P.S- See any off the wall celebrity shit that you’d like me to speak on- email me!…Link to me and don’t see a back link??? Email me! I’ll be more than happy to add you to the blogroll.

I come in the name of Jesus…Repeat after me BEE-YOTCH!!

April 21, 2006

ROFLMBAO!!! One of thee funniest internet clips EVAR!!!I just ran across this shit tonight and had to post it. This made my boring ass Friday evening….Sheiiit maybe even my whole week! Don’t watch this at work or you might get fired for laughing so hard..

Gangsta Ass Preacher

The Fight of the Century

April 21, 2006
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Who smoked it better????

Oh yes! Enta-ma-tainment served just how I like it. RAW! Looks like K-Ci done finally had enough of Mary’s shit talking about him and how bad he used to treat her all trife and shit. Had her all strung out on him and with him. And yall already know what it is when it comes to my Mary. “Bet not nobody say nothing baby about Mrs. Blige!.. Uhn uhnnnnn!!”….He sat down and did an interview with Vibe to discuss him and Mary’s past relationship and the trufs and untrufs of all this ongoing shit. Mary already done told him she’s not looking for no playa shit so I think he’s pretty much clowning himself on this one:

Vibe: The fans are waiting for another Jodeci album. Is that going to happen soon? K-Ci: We have been in the studio recording. We are not rushing, although our fans are waiting to hear from us. I want them to be patient. Jodeci is not over. It’s not a wrap just yet.(good..I miss Jodeci. Just tell Devonte’ not to rock spice girl shoes and a jheri curl perm on stage ever again. I saw them damn Source Awards a few years back!!!..smh)

Vibe: What is your response to the new video that Mary is doing with 50 cent?

K-Ci: That’s crazy. After all this time she’s making a video about me
and her? I haven’t seen the video. But I’ve heard about it. It’s supposed to be about a time in our life when we were supposed to get married. I never said I was going to marry her. (what??!?)

Vibe: So you two were never engaged to jump the broom? Did you ever give her a ring?

K-Ci: Yes I gave her a ring, not because I wanted to marry her. I gave her a ring after she came off tour and she kept hinting around that she wanted a ring. (face saveage!!) I never agreed to marry Mary J. We never talked about starting a family or anything like that. We were not as serious as people thought.

Vibe: So, she thought that the two of you were getting married?

K-Ci: Right. That was all in her head. I was young and living my life. I didn’t want to be anybody’s husband. I was young and living wild. I was celebrating everyday and partying and hooking up with different women. I wasn’t ready to settle down with anybody. Mary knew that. She knew I cared about her but she also knew that I wasn’t going to be tied down to her. She accepted that and continued to call me and come around me even at times I didn’t want her around me. I would tell Mary over and over to go and find a man that is ready to settle down and play hubby.

Vibe: You had to have loved her at one point or another. You guys sang together, did shows together. There had to be something.

K-Ci: There was something. It wasn’t what Mary wanted everybody to think. She wanted the world to think that we were living a fairytale and all of a sudden I ended it. We cared about each other, but I wasn’t in love with here. The feelings were never mutual. We would do shows together and afterwards I wanted to hang out with the guys and party and talk to fans. Mary would go crazy. She would come up to my hotel and bang on the door, screaming and hollering at the top of her lungs until I came out. She would come up to me at parties and disrespect my company. I had to be careful because if she saw me with a woman she would try to start fights and put on a big show. It was crazy.

Vibe: Why do you think she was acting like this? There had to be reason. Do you think she was mislead to believe that you wanted to be with her?

K-Ci: I don’t understand how, because I told her all the time that I didn’t want to be in a relationship with her. That still didn’t stop her from calling and paging me and showing up at the studio drunk. There were so many episodes. She was constantly embarrassing herself.

Vibe: Do you think the sex made her fall in love?

K-Ci: *laughs* I thinks so, but no woman should let sex control them and make them feel things for someone (i know that’s right..). If the feelings are not there, you have to let go and move on and work on building yourself. You can’t let good sex control your mind and control your emotions. A lot of men would have loved to be with her, but she was into me instead of being into Mary J. Blige. She turned down a lot of guys because she thought they only wanted her for her money and fame. She would cry about this all the time.

Vibe: Were you ever attracted to her. She is a beautiful women. Very stunning.

K-Ci: I was attracted to her because she had so much ambition. She would be in the studio for 12 hours a day. She was determined to live her dream. That’s what I was attracted to. Her determination and her drive is what motivated me.

Vibe: What about the physical? When you first saw Mary, what was your first thought?

K-Ci: She seemed very nice. Very down to earth. I wasn’t attracted to her the first time we met.(Musta been the crack rocks cause Mary is beautiful!)

Vibe: How did the two of you start dating? There had to be some kind of attraction between you and Mary. What was It? How did the two of you make a match?

K-Ci: We saw each other at Uptown records several times before we exchanged numbers. I wasn’t trying to get involved at the time. When we recorded a song for her debut album What’s the 411, we had a lot of chemistry. We slept together. She enjoyed it. We began hanging out at the studio. We became friends. We would talk a lot. She was very opened about everything. I respected her for that. She was honest. She would tell me the truth about myself. That’s what made me want to embrace her as a friend.

Vibe: She was a good friend, so how did everything fall downhill?

K-Ci: Mary had a lot of problems. She came from Yonkers New York. She was from a broken family and she still had to carry those issues on her back. She had low self-esteem. She was very insecure. That’s the part of Mary I didn’t like. She was a determined woman and she was serious about her career, but she had no self love. She would always say how much she hated her big feet. She would complain about the scares on her face she got from fighting girls around her neighborhood in Yonkers. She wanted me to make her feel pretty. I couldn’t. She was just a woman to me. I didn’t see her the way people look at Halle Berry, Robin Givens or Vanessa Williams. She was just a regular woman. That was fine with me, but it wasn’t fine with Mary. She didn’t feel good about herself. Even with the clothes, the hairstyles and the jewelry, she didn’t feel worthy.

Vibe: If you could go back and change things, do you think you would have married Mary J. Blige. Now that you are older, do you have a change of heart? What are your feeling towards Mary. Do you have any love for her as a friend.

K-Ci: I don’t have any bitter feelings for her. I just hope she can somehow get over our affair and move on with her life. I have not made any songs about her. She has made albums about me. She has made people think I’m the bad guy when it was her that didn’t know how to let go and move on. Her peeps would call me and tell me to stop abusing Mary, stop playing with her head, but she didn’t tell them what she was doing. She didn’t want anybody to know that she was getting high and drunk and calling me and showing up at the studio ready to fight me. Everybody thought I was controlling her and giving her false promises. I kept telling her to go on with her life and her career. She would tell me NO! I love you K-Ci. I can’t live without you, I wanna be happy with you. I just wanna be your wife and make you happy. All that stuff she was singing about. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this work. I would shut down because she had the whole world singing along to her sad lullaby (hence the classic “My Life”). And I was considered the abusive bad guy. That made me upset back then, but know I’m happy for her and I’m glad she is married. I wish she would gave married someone back then. She was driving me up the wall.

Vibe: The two of you recorded together after the affair was over. You did some vocals on the My Life album and also on the Mary album. What was it like working with her after all of those episodes?

K-Ci: It was an experience. I did some vocals on the My Life album, because P Diddy was still producing her music and he asked me to be a part of the project. I didn’t want to do it, but P-Diddy told me to go in and keep a business mind.(“Preserve yo’ sexy”-Diddy is such a cornball but dats a whole notha post chile) So I did. Mary tried to stay in contact with me after that. I couldn’t do it. She was heavy into drugs and alcohol. She was losing weight and her hair was looking messy every time she was not performing. She kept shades on to hide bags under her eyes. People were thinking that I gave her black eyes, but I wasn’t around her at that time. The drugs were tearing her apart. I wanted to reach out to her, but I didn’t want to start another relationship. I prayed for her everyday.

Vibe: What was the relationship like when you recorded with Mary J on the Mary album? That seemed like the turning point for Mary. We saw her grow from a girl into a woman. She was becoming an icon.

K-Ci: We recorded for a few days and that was it.

Vibe: Did any old feelings come up?

K-Ci: No, none at all, because she had already proved that we could never get back together. I was there to record and support her as an artist. Everybody thought we were together. But that was all false. The year before, Mary showed up at a big party in Atlanta that was for TLC. We were all hanging out and I was with a my date *a model from a video shoot* Mary was in Atlanta at the time doing a show and she popped up at the party drunk. She was a mess. Her hair was everywhere, she was dirty and she didn’t have shoes on. P Diddy was there and he grabbed her and took her into a room and had a talk with her. She came out cussing everybody out. She tried to hit my date with a cane she picked up from a table.(*dead* at picturing this) Everybody was laughing, but they didn’t know how serious this was. She was letting drugs ruin her life. She couldn’t stand up straight and she had powder residue on her nose when she came out of the bathroom (negro stop fronting you know you left the br two seconds before her) I went to my limo and prayed and cried for her.(*rollseyes*) I felt terrible. I didn’t understand why she was letting herself go. Her bodyguards couldn’t control her. She was hoarse from screaming and everybody thought it was a joke. Some of the party goers didn’t believe it was Mary. It was her. Yes it was.

Vibe: Why did you cry for her? Did you feel guilty. Did you feel as if you could have helped her in some kind of way.

K-Ci: I didn’t feel guilty. I cried because she was far gone. She was addicted to drugs and the drugs were ruining her life. She had everything. She was away from the projects in Yonkers. She had a string of hits. She had just purchased a home in New Jersey, but she was still that same girl that with no self love. I wanted to call her and talk to her, but I wanted Mary to find her own way. I couldn’t give her any solutions. I could lie and tell her everything was ok. I could lie and tell her she was beautiful.(thats dat crack rock speaking for him again yall) She had to feel secure within herself before anybody could convince her.

Read the rest on Blackvoices..

Stick around chirrens, I still got plenty of hot H.A.M and Turkeyleft to go ’round..

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Right Pookie???

Fuck Tom Cruise AND Katie!

April 20, 2006
“I wanna piss on yoooouuuuu”

So, yesterday I get tired of lollygagging on the net and turn on the television for a change. I notice I haven’t been watching T.V a lot lately cause everything on it pretty much sucks like “Superhead” at a Grammy afterparty… But anyway, ANTM was coming on in an hour so I figured “what the hell” I turn to Channel 10 (NBC aka NOTHING BUT CRAP) and commence to watching some fukkery on Access Hollywood or one of those crazy ass paparazzi shoes that stalk celebrities and shit… “OOOOooooo Britney Spears’ son prefers Old E to Budweiser mixed in with his forumla.. Let’s all have a party!!!!!!” DIS.GUS.TING. Pat O’Brien, Billy “Did you notice i’m annoying and gay?” Bush, and Nancy O’Dell all seem to mesh into one annoying shit eating grin having character to me. I can smell the velveeta cheese just oozing from my screen onto my living room floor. Their insincere whining hitting my eardrums makes me wanna stab Elmo (and I heart Elmo). Who knows, maybe if we add an “O” to Billy ole boy’s last name we can get a self-suicide cult going. The entire fucking show was about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes effing new bundle of superhuman alien baby-Suri. I hadn’t even realized they had the baby until yesterday NOR did I care up to this point. It’s just gotten ridiculous. Like who fucking cares??????????? They’re regular ass people like you and me. They take shits. Albeit they have probably have human ass wipers who get paid 50 bucks per stroke, but they still poop–am I wrong? I sincerely feel sorry for that kid. No wait–I really could give a lukewarm crap (hahaha..I made a funny). Because at the end of the day she’s gonna end up crazy just like her father, jumping on futon couches and shit for change on Hollywood Boulevard, while Katie Holmes tries to map out a route to planet Nebulon on James Van der Beek’s forehead. Can’t wait for Angelina and Brad’s kid to crawl down that canal *rollseyes*

10 Facts About ME

April 19, 2006

You didn’t know or don’t care to know..but you’re gonna learn it anyway because I’ve been tagged a good three times by my fellow bloggers in crime..

*drum roll*

10. I grew up in Camden, NJImage hosting by Photobucket..One of the most dangerous and poorest cities in America. I don’t know…I never saw it that way when I was there *shrugs shoulders*

It’s home, where i’m from… I just moved about 4 years ago (only 20 minutes away) and i’m up there everyday for school. I have one motherfuckin’ problem though: I never realized how annoying it is to have motherfuckers walk right in the middle of the goddamn streetwhile you’re driving like they got X-Men invisible powers and shit (even though I used to to do the same damn [Doughboy] And keep them damn babies out the street! [/BoyzntheHood]9. I am a genuis– No, really—–i’m not. But I am pretty intelligent. My mom had me in this smart kid program from 3rd-8th grade..

8. My favorite color is blue- any shade, I just like blue..

7. My favoite food is Lasagna. My mom’s cooking>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>your entire existence.

6. I want to be a model. I wanna slap the shit out of Naomi Cambell and walk down the runway with her blackberry in hand. I’ll even sprinkle some heroin on Kate Moss’ head as she sits in the front row dazed and confused..I swear my walk is so mean!!

Too effin bad i’m only 5’5″:(5. Lost my virginity at 17 (*feels like it’s getting tooo personal*) to my ex boyfriend of 6 years..It didn’t nearly hurt as much as my friends were making it seem. They were making it seem like I was gonna have a reverse birth and shit, baby shoved right up my ass-breach style!

4. Most embarrasing that ever happened to me: I was walking home from school one day rocking my new ispy K-Swiss’ looking really cute. Well, there was a bunch of drug boys on the corner so I immediately switched into eagle eye mode (no matter what you do NOT look at the drug boys) and crossed the street so they wouldn’t say anything to me. Well I got right to the corner of Mechanic St. and stepped in a huge pile of dog shit. Believe it was doberman..I was so embarrassed. I felt like the dumb hoe in Redman’s video. I took my shoes off and walked the rest of the way home in socks..To this day I look at the ground where ever I walk..

3. I’m a little shy. Just a little, I get it from my mom but I’ve been trying to break out of it lately. Don’t get me wrong i’ll smack a hoe if she start talkin’ out the side of her mouth! Because at the same time I do have a bad temper(go figure)..but i’m just a laid back type of person who doesn’t like too much noise or drama. It’s only if i’m pushed..only if i’m pushed…2. I do hair..Micros, kinky twists, weaves..All that stuff-fo’ cheap! So if you’re ever in South Jersey and need me to hook you up..bark at me asap!! *shameless plug*

1. I love to laugh..I guess that’s why I didn’t do a serious personal blog. I just like to have fun and laugh at shit. It makes life a whole lot easier than to moan and bitch all the time. Even when i’m feeling my worse I try and find something to cheer me up…that’s what this blog is for 🙂