August 21, 2007
The worlds least relevant rapper chick is back at it again. After assaulting her neighbor Naomi style with a Blackberry, it’s come out that she’s now..*gasp* engaged & 3 months pregnant! I blame the plum purple lipstick and weave glue. You know that shit has seeped into her brain after all these years. Anyway, congrats to you and yours Fox Boogie. I bet my Jackie-O: “How To Box A Bitch” instructional video that that baby will come out swingin.
UPDATE: Yup..She’s goin to jail!
February 27, 2007
As reported by TMZ, The rapper held a press conference yesterday, and attacked the Pembroke Pines Police for their alleged treatment of her during her February 15 arrest.[…]She goes on to say “The only crime I am guilty of committing is being a young black female celebrity in Broward County,” said Brown. “I am the victim of an overzealous police department who engaged in police brutality and a money-hungry store owner whose motives are for me to pay his mortgage on his house and his children’s tuition.”Brown added that the store owner barged in on her while she was on the toilet and demanded she leave the store , without giving her the privacy to get dressed. Though Brown went off on the police department and the store owner, she didn’t deny the charges they filed against her.
Are you fuckin kidding me? Why is she always holding press conferences as if she really matters? She hasn’t been relevant since..since..Damn, she’s never been relevant. Hmm…lemme give her some credit. Her excessive use of purple lipstick has inspired me to eat more beets. And who knew $200 sew-in Wet N’Wavy weaves could put your kids through college. That does it! I’m quitting my job at the bank and opening up a kitchen ass hair-do shop in my garage. Weavemaster’s aint’ got shit on me!
Hair Queen’s For Your Enjoyment
February 17, 2007
MIAMI (Reuters) – Rapper Foxy Brown was arrested in Florida and held overnight for battery and obstruction of justice, according to the arrest record and local newspaper reports on Friday.Brown, whose real name is Inga Marchand, was detained at a Pembroke Pines beauty-supply shop on Thursday night after a disturbance there, The Miami Herald newspaper said.The arrest record of the Broward Sheriff’s Office said she was held on $1,500 bail for the two offenses. It gave no further details.The hip-hop artist was sentenced in New York last October to three years probation and anger management classes for assaulting two nail-salon stylists over a $20 manicure.Brown was ordered to stay away from the manicurists for the next five years.
TMZ says she threw hair glue at an employee (lmao!) and spat on another. The cops had to subdue her with the “takedown method” (bwahaha) Damn, this bitch is like the Deebo of nail salons. First off, It’s only 13 dollah fo’ refill and 25 fo’ foo set. Second, somebody needs to tell her ass about a lacefront wig. Her ass probably still glues to the scalp. Third, why can’t she just sit her ass in a chair, breath in the toxic fumes and talk about shit no one cares about like the rest of us? Is she that hard up for cash? I don’t even feel sorry for her gremlin lookin ass. I’m curious, can she even hear? Who cares. I’m sure her ass can read. If you see Inga, tell her TAKEITOUTSIDE said Hoe Sit Doooown!!!