The Blackards!!

October 22, 2007

Term for an ignorant person who exhibits extreme fukkery and lack of self respect and/or dignity.

Case in Point:

The Hoodie Awards hosted by Steve “Who spilled gumbo on my 3piece suit” Harvey were held in Las Vegas. Among the categories were:

  • Best Fried Chicken Place (ummm..)
  • Best Church Choir (why not best church chicken?
  • Best Car Wash/Detail Shop (*sigh*)
  • Best Nail Salon (I quit this bitch..)

This shit right here…this shit right here…


Cute family. Poor child probably wears wingtip shoes to gym class..


Mama Bethel Anne is looking for her brazierre right aboooouuut-NOW! Oh yea, remember Sally Richardson from Low Down Dirty Shame(fab chick).


Halloween done come early?? What the hell is she supposed to be–Ghost of 1997!? Doin’ the bounce in front of my damn house..No words.

Again–I quit this bitch. I gotta take my “Free T.I” shirt to the cleaners to get hemmed properly. Call me when NaS album comes out..

[Pics spotted @ CL]


Spot the hairline

August 20, 2007

Bald-head scallywag, aint got no hair in back
Gelled up weaved up, yo hair is messed up..


Looks like Aunt Viv is suffering from a severe case of forehead alopecia, otherwise known as Tyraitis -OR- it could be that her hair is running away from her plastic face. But seriously though: I cannot stress this enough; Black women: LAY OFF THE PERMS!! You do not need to perm everytime a raindrop hits your damn head. Lets pray that aunt Viv can revive her hairline along with her faltering career..

Jesus be a can of Sulfur 8 grease.

Superman that HOE

August 14, 2007

Look up in the sky!
It’s a bird!
It’s hot ass mess!

It’s (dun-dun-duh-duuuh) Superhoes!!!




Methinks it was all the weed smoke at the Ozone Awards that made them think it was Halloween already. Check out the rest of the ghetto celebrity prom here


Ahahahah New York got played by Donatello

April 16, 2007


If you watched the I Love New York reunion last night you got an eye-full of hot ass mess-age. A few unanswered questions:

1.Why did she wear that damn bra?!?
2.Why did Sister Patterson wear that flimsy ass wig sans ten-head? Maybe New York could’ve saw the future in it and that Tango was gonna clown her ass…
3.Why did Real remind me of the cowardly lion?
4.Why was Heat’s mama and “yaya” more gangsta than Tango’s ninja turtle punk ass(notice he only got buck when the bodyguards jumped up)
5.Why am I thinking Chance is so hilarious and hot at the same time?
6.Now I know I must be crazy because Mr. Boston was actually kinda cute…
7.Why did 12 pack and heat remind me of the amibiguously gay duo.
8. When did Romance get super wiggerish? His ass did look like Cruela D’evil
Whew! I am so over chile. If you missed it, you can get your recap fix over at the I Love New York Blog 

The Hot Ass Mess Report: K-Ci & Fat Joe

March 10, 2007

Umm..yea so K-Ci went a made a song called “Apologize” clearly directed at Mary J. Blige for all the cracky pain he put her through. He should’ve tried this shit earlier when she was still too messed up to care. It’s completely fair to say that this video is fucking hilarious. (and sad 😦 ) Kendu and Mary are somewhere on matching razor scooters laughing their asses off. For complete and utter fukkery fastforward to 2:20

Tyrone Biggums K-Ci- Apologize



Next in our report: Joesph Cartegena aka Fat Joe


Dare I say, he bears a striking resemblance to the Michelin Man! When reached for comment all MM had to say with this:


And there you have it. That concludes our Hot Ass Mess report for this evening. Good night, good luck, and stay away crack and bow ties.

The Hot Ass Mess Report

February 17, 2007


No this isn’t a promo for Interracial Wet Juicy Black Asses 17. See who’s setting the race back after the jizzump!

Read the rest of this entry »

The not so glamourous life

February 6, 2007

Here’s some random pics I stole saw while browsing various celeb sites…The all made me wince in fear..

Danity Kane aka Diddy’s Hoes at Aubrey’s 23rd B-Day bash
at some who cares club. You know she wants that cigar to be Diddy’s penis. danityhoe.jpgdanityhoe1.jpg

I’m not even gonna say nothin…


Who’s this lovely elegant couple you ask? Old ass Ice-T and Coco. He may as well be married to a mold of her plastic ass


Michelle “I’ll Bite Your Clitoris Off” Rodriguez tries to make some type of wack ass fashion statement with her recent drunk driving record. Dumb ass.


Kelis lookin’ like some straight animal planet shit. Mess!


Doth my eye’s deceive me? No, it’s Lil Hoe Moe posing like she’s at a ghetto skating rink.Either that or her ass fell down the steps and tried to play it off. All she’s missing is the airbrushed Mercede’s Benz backdrop and a crowd of side ponytail wearing chicks. Loqueesha and Pookie–come get ya girl!


Looks like somebody shoulda kept his damn hand down if he was Unsure..Taye Diggs sweating like a bougie black man walking in the ghetto with a white girl on his arm. Oops, Did I say thaaaaat?