Thanks Oprah, Now I know ‘dere is a God

April 13, 2007


Oprah proves she still has some Miss Sophia in her by teaching the whities how to ‘lean and rock wit it’ yesterday on her show after talking to the Rutgers Women’s basketball team. (My thoughts on that Don Imanasshole fiasco in a sec) She also taught them how to shuck and jive the Chicken Noodle Soup and some shit I ain’t never heard of called the “Old Man.” I was much delighted to see the gay white dude in the back say he would use these new guaranteed punches in the face at his next wedding reception. Big Bird Gayle even joined in the fukkery. Jesus please take this damn wheel.

On Don Imusbeoutofajob

Now, i’m not one to get easily offended but while being a student at (current controversial university) I’ve seen a lot of the fukkery over this whole “nappy-head hoe” debacle. One incident that stuck out this past week; I had a white lab instructor laugh a little too hard and asking quite dumbassedly (yea I made that word up) “Do they really look like thaaaat??” after another student informed her on what Don Imus referred to these young ladies as. Now i’m not one to get easily offended but it’s damn awkward when you’re the only notable brown person in the class. I promptly stopped what I was doing and shot her a look of “Bitch-is-you-serious?” The ghetto DNA in me wanted to ask her if it’d be A-okay if I called her a stringy-haired, pasty face, cave slut. But I digress and catch my breath. As she noticed her tactful eloquence she immediately stopped cackling enough to shake her head in pity and give a half-hearted “Yea, he shouldn’t say stuff like that about people…” Yea. Okay. Whatever. Please, heffa probably doesn’t even sleep at night because it’s black when she closes her eyes. She must’ve felt stupid or something because later she let me make up a lab hand-in that I missed last week. White guilt must be a bitch. Anywhooo..Mama was right when she said: “If you don’t have nothin’ nice to say, don’t say it AT ALL. ” (Or unless you’re in the comfort of your own racist ass home) I’m burying this Don Imus fukkery 10x’s faster than Anna Nicole Smith so i’ll leave you with fond memories with this hilarity via NovaSlim. Oh yea, Go Sanjaya!



Kelis Arrested in Miami

March 2, 2007

kelis.jpgSinger Kelis was arrested early Friday morning in Miami Beach after screaming racial obscenities at two female police officers who were posing as prostitutes. Damn. She’s bossy!The officers were working an undercover operation in South Beach, when cops say Kelis started screaming racial slurs at the women. She continued screaming and rushed toward them, and had to be restrained by friends, a police report said. According to the report, Kelis’ “actions caused people walking by to stop and form a crowd. The sidewalk was blocked by the disturbance, causing people to walk in the street and causing traffic to stop.”Kelis, the wife of rapper Nas, was charged with two misdemeanor charges of disorderly conduct and for resisting arrest.A rep for Kelis had no comment.

Must be the Florida water..I must say the police lighting jumps off her honey skin just right. Best mug shot i’ve seen in awhile! Her and Fox Boogie should walk the streets and throw weave glue and dye bottles at hoes. I wonder what bitch was saying to the undercover sluts? Wait, I think I know:

Foxy says she’s a victim of police brutality

February 27, 2007

As reported by TMZ, The rapper held a press conference yesterday, and attacked the Pembroke Pines Police for their alleged treatment of her during her February 15 arrest.[…]She goes on to say “The only crime I am guilty of committing is being a young black female celebrity in Broward County,” said Brown. “I am the victim of an overzealous police department who engaged in police brutality and a money-hungry store owner whose motives are for me to pay his mortgage on his house and his children’s tuition.”Brown added that the store owner barged in on her while she was on the toilet and demanded she leave the store , without giving her the privacy to get dressed. Though Brown went off on the police department and the store owner, she didn’t deny the charges they filed against her.

Are you fuckin kidding me? Why is she always holding press conferences as if she really matters? She hasn’t been relevant since..since..Damn, she’s never been relevant. Hmm…lemme give her some credit. Her excessive use of purple lipstick has inspired me to eat more beets. And who knew $200 sew-in Wet N’Wavy weaves could put your kids through college. That does it! I’m quitting my job at the bank and opening up a kitchen ass hair-do shop in my garage. Weavemaster’s aint’ got shit on me!

Hair Queen’s For Your Enjoyment

Naacp says Brandy is being unfairly targeted

January 30, 2007

brandy.jpgBlack civil rights leaders in Los Angeles claim the California Highway Patrol has made singer/actress Brandy “a political trophy.” The Los Angeles City Attorney is deciding whether to file misdemeanor vehicular manslaughter charges against Brandy, whose Land Rover slammed into a Toyota on the 405 Freeway killing the driver.Today, Najee Ali, leader of Project Islamic HOPE, said the CHP’s recommendation to file charges against the singer “is unfairly targeting her for prosecution because of her celebrity.” Ali told TMZ he is organizing an e-mail campaign in the African American community to put pressure on City Attorney Rocky Delgadillo to reject the case.Delgadillo says “We will treat this case like every other case and treat it very seriously because someone died.”

Oh please. Spare me the bullshit. She killed someone; therefore she should be punished accordingly..To say she’s being unfairly targeted is reaching farther than the space between her eyes. No wonder she couldn’t see traffic slowing down. Them shits is damn near on the side of her head…Moving ooooon…

NYPD is D’Worst

November 28, 2006

Sean Bell

An angry crowd have demanded to know why New York police officers killed an unarmed man on the day of his wedding, firing dozens of shots that also wounded two of the man’s friends.Some called for the ouster of the city’s police commissioner.

At a vigil and rally the day after 23-year-old Sean Bell was supposed to have married the mother of his two young children, a crowd led by the black civil rights leader, the Reverend Al Sharpton, shouted “No justice, no peace”.

At one point, the crowd of a few hundred counted off to 50, the number of rounds fired.

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Paul Mooney is d’best! His hilarious take on KKKramer

November 27, 2006